Don't Blame It On The Alcohol
by seddiefan4eva
Summary: CrissColfer rpf: Chris is drunk, that much he knows. What he really needs to know is how he came to be sprawled across darren his very attractive but very straight  and currently very drunk  colleague 's lap.


**(Don't) Blame It On The Alcohol**

_**Warnings**__: Mild cursing/swearing/whatever you want to call it. Not much else, really._

_**Note:**__Okay, so, when I first joined fanfiction I promised myself I would never write an RPF. Yet, here we are. It kind of started the day before Chris Colfer's birthday (which, actually I didn't realize it was until two days later) when I discovered CrissColfer. Since then, I've had this stuck in my head and I tried REALLY hard not to write it but when I get an idea I have to write it or I'll go crazy (well, crazier than I already am). It's not great, I wrote it at 3am, and while I am nocturnal and do my best work in the early hours, I hadn't slept in 15 hours. So … yeah, it's probably terrible. When this is inevitably reported – most probably by my BFF, who hates these fics, I'll probably post it on my livejournal (which I recently joined … again). Okay, long note so, that's it.  
><em>_Oh, but to my other friend, this is for you, 'cause I know you wanted me to write more slash. :D Hope you like it.  
><em>_Oh, and sorry if I got their personalities wrong, in my defense I don't think it's possible for anyone to get their personalities completely right unless you've actually met them, so…  
><em>_I'll shut up now._

_BTW, the title is crap, I know._

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own Glee. Nor do I own Daren Criss or Chris Colfer. If I did … :) I won't continue 'cause I don't want to change the rating just for the disclaimer :D JK!  
><em>_(Ooh! Also, I mean no offence to anyone mentioned in this fic :D_

_**Now on with the story:  
><strong>_Chris Colfer is drunk. That much he knows. What he really needs to know is why he is sprawled across Darren (his very attractive but also very straight colleague)'s lap while the rest of the cast sleep in various places and positions around whoever's apartment this is (Chris can't quite remember and this worries him slightly). Mark and Cory are tangled together in an armchair with Lea leaning against their legs, all three sleeping soundly. Both Chord and Harry are passed out on the floor and, if he listens carefully, Chris can hear the quiet snores from behind him, where he assumes the rest of the cast are either sleeping or too drunk to move.

At this thought, he is reminded of the throbbing of his head and, with a quiet whimper, he burrows back into Darren's arms, clutching at the older man's t-shirt. Straight or not, Darren is warm and comfy and all Chris wants to do is sleep of the remaining alcohol.

Unfortunately, fate seems to have it in for him, and Darren chooses this moment to stir from his sleep.

"Chris?" He mumbles, only half awake.

"Mmm?" Chris replies, burying his head in Darren's shoulder and hoping he doesn't have to move yet. He's still a little drunk and more than a bit hung-over and he really doesn't want to know what happens when he stands up.

"Why're you on top of me?"

Chris lifts his head a fraction and blinks, "M'not sure." He slurs, only exaggerating a little.

"You're drunk." Darren accuses and Chris is just happy he hasn't been moved yet.

"Oh, and you're not?"

Darren shrugs and wraps an arm around Chris' waist to steady him as he moves to glare at his dark-haired friend.

"Your fault." Darren mutters, leaning back into the sofa and taking Chris with him, "S'your party."

Chris frowns, looking both adorably confused and a little green, "It is?"

Darren snorts, "Your birthday?"

"Oh. _Oh._ I knew that." He pauses, then, "In my defense, I'm very, very drunk."

Harry shifts on the floor, distracting them both for a moment.

"So…" Chris says awkwardly, squirming nervously on Darren's lap. He freezes when Darren whimpers, looking down then quickly back up at his red-faced co-star, "Darren…?"

Darren ducks his head, scrunching his eyes shut as if by doing so he could wish it all away, "In my defense, I'm very, very drunk."

Unsure what to do, Chris moves to stand, only to be stopped by Darren's hands on his waist and a stern look from the man himself.

"Well this isn't awkward."

"I don't want it to be awkward." Darren groans, "Is it that awful that I'm attracted to you? That I _like_ you?"

"What? You- _What_!" He hissed, trying not to make too much noise, shocked as he is.

"I thought it was obvious." Darren chuckled, dropping a kiss to Chris' shoulder before moving up to plant one on his lips. He leans back for a moment to gauge his reaction before he moves back in, lips moving against Chris's and for a moment Chris forgets to kiss back. Then, when he comes to his senses and realizes what's happening, he parts his lips slightly, moving them in time with Darren's. It's when Darren's tongue swipes cautiously at his bottom lip that it hits him and he leans back; Darren's arms the only thing keeping him from tumbling backwards onto Chord and Harry.

"Thought you were straight." Chris says breathlessly, frowning down at Darren, who simply grins and leans in for another kiss.

"So did I."

Chris' frown deepens and he shoves Darren away quite roughly, "Darren!"

Said man sighs and sits back, "Look, Chris, I know I've said I'm straight and, at that point I thought I was, and … then we got closer and … I don't know, Chris … I'm bi, I guess? Or … Colfersexual." He smirks, "Cause I'm pretty sure I'm straight – It's just _you_. I'm fuckin' i_n love_ with you!"

"Aww!" lea coos from the floor, startling both men

"Lea!" Chris squawks, and then clutches his head.

She ignores him, looking straight at Darren, "You'd better look after him." She warns, but she's smiling warmly.

"You know, he hasn't actually said he'll go out with me yet." Darren muses, looking pointedly at Chris, who scoffs.

"If that's your way of asking me out, then it's terrible." He says, finally gathering the courage to stand, though he immediately stumbles and trips over Harry, who doesn't even move, let alone wake up from his alcohol induced slumber.

He glances at Darren and it only takes a moment of that crestfallen look before he's adding, "But yes."

Darren lets out an actual whoop and pulls Chris back onto his lap and into a bone-crushing hug. Chris whimpers at the loud noise and silently wonders how Lea – who is 'aww'ing at them again – and Darren can function so early, especially considering the amount of alcohol they'd consumed the night before.

"Yeah, great, we're adorable, yay." He says sarcastically, prying Darren's arms from his waist with a small smile, "Now could one of you please make yourselves useful and get me some caffeine. Fucking alcohol." He mutters, flopping back onto the sofa as Darren chuckles and kisses him softly before he stands in search of the kitchen, a goofy smile on his face.

Lea laughs, "Don't blame the alcohol; it's what finally brought the two of you together!"

Chris grumbles a little more, but when he's sure no-one can see, he turns and grins into the arm of the sofa, kicking his legs a little childishly, his hangover all but forgotten.

Maybe he should drink more often.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Okay, so the ending is terrible. Actually the whole fic is terrible, but still … I hope you liked it.<strong>_


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